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Putting my foot down didn't work out to well

I just got back from a weekend at the parents. Today ended on a really bad note. As I said in a previous post, I had promised my mom that I would pay their electricity bill. Well after looking at my finances and realizing that I would be shelling out around a whole lotta moola this week for my sister's wedding, I came to the conclusion that I wasn't gonna be able to afford to pay their $332 electric bill. So as I was packing up to leave my mom asked me if I paid the bill. I told her that I had not. I explained that I had a lot of things to pay this week and that since the electric bill wasn't due until the 24th, that I would see how my finances looked then and let her know if I could pay it. She responds, "If you ain't gonna pay it now then forget about it". And then starts going off on me.

Are you serious?!! Because I won't pay the bill NOW you catching a tude with me? I am furious at this point. After all I have done, she got the nerve to act like I am this heartless daughter who won't put up 2 cents to help out her family. I am digging myself further and further into debt for them and this is my thanks. Of course my sisters are looking at me crazy and saying how they can't believe I did that to her. Did what?? Ask for a little time so I can gather up my finances before I put myself another $332 deeper into the black abyss that is debt. Oh......my bad! Guess I should have jumped in with both feet.

Needless to say they ain't speaking to me. Five days before my sister's wedding and it comes down to this. I feel that I had every right to do what I did but that still didn't stop me from feeling real shitty. But then I cleaned out my daughter's closet and drawers and realized that she can't fit majority of the clothes and that she is now a size 12 in shoes. Luckily I did a little school shopping and bought larger clothes so she is set for this week. But my baby will need more clothes and shoes. And since I have been going solo for the last two months I really didn't buy that much groceries. I just got what I needed. So now we need food cuz she likes to eat. And I also have to start paying for her school again. The list goes on. And as it does I am feeling less and less shitty at having put my foot down. My daughter needs me. If I can't provide for her who the heck will. Moms can't understand that then on well.

*sigh*
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Comments

SingleGuyMoney said…
That's such a slap in the face. You try to help and when you realize you can't afford it, they get mad at you. Like you said, you have to take care of you and your daughter FIRST.
August 20, 2007 at 6:22 AM
SavingDiva said…
I'm sorry to hear that your family isn't being understanding about your financial situation. I agree with singleguymoney. You need to provide for yourself and your daughter first. Your parents are adults, and they should be responsible for their own actions (and electric bills). It is unfortunate that they won't talk to you because of this...I hope things work out in the end.
August 20, 2007 at 11:17 AM
krystalatwork said…
I'm sorry that situation happened to you! Agree with the comments already made - you have to take care of you and your daughter before anyone else. It's very generous at all to even offer to pay any of their bills, and for them to get mad at you for not helping out with their problem, well that seems a little selfish in my opinion.

I hope things end up working out before your sister's wedding!!
August 20, 2007 at 2:25 PM
Dimples said…
Thanks guys. I definitely gotta put my daughter first. It just sucks that it has to be this way with my mom and stuff. I rely so much on family......it's hard. But God has a master plan and everything will work out soon enough.
August 20, 2007 at 5:20 PM
Anonymous said…
the only thing you could do in that situation would be to let Mom know that you can't pay NOW, so she's on notice about it, enabling her to make other plans if she needs to. she's on notice now, so you've done your part. time will heal the rift (and maybe a little good faith help towards that bill if you have it to spare, even if you can't pay it all). i hope the wedding goes well.
August 22, 2007 at 11:15 AM
Anonymous said…
Hmm, looking at what you wrote, in all honesty, I can kind of see why your might have reacted the way she did. It doesn't seem to me that the problem is you paying the bill "now." You promised you would pay a bill, then when they ask you about it, you said you'd see "if" you could do it. That's the wrong way for them to find out an important bill that you promised to help them with may not be paid.

But hindsight is always 20/20. At this point it might be a good idea to sit down with the folks and have that chat about what financial support, if any, they can expect from you at this time. $332 is a lot of money for 25-yr. old with a child to be paying for a bill neither you, nor your child, incurred.

Good luck with your fam Dimples. It sounds like an extremely stressful situation.
August 22, 2007 at 11:44 PM
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